Oxfordshire opened the new season with mixed results. Withdrawals changed our line-up somewhat but we could still have fielded a full C team of 8 on our first outing in the Markham League. Staffs could not, unfortunately - in fairness, they had slightly limited time in which to do so, having expected us to have two teams only - so we settled reluctantly for a team of 4 match in the C division. Sandy Constable and Krishan Jalie, Krys Kazmierczak and Sandra Nicholson thus made history by being the first pairs to represent Oxfordshire at this level: their achievement in winning should not be underestimated as their Staffs opponents included one pair scheduled to play in the A but demoted due to late arrival. Our team was 41 up with 8 to play and hung on despite a determined comeback. I should add that all Counties have now been forewarned so we can expect standard arrangements in future - and our squad is now so large that there will be stiff competition for places in all three teams.

Oxford A lost to Staffs A by 87 IMPs (0-20 VPs)

B beat Staffs B by 38 IMPs (16-4 VPs)

C beat Staffs C by 8 IMPs (12-8 VPs)

Cross-IMP and Butler scores for all pairs have been provided by Jeremy Bygott.

It’s always embarrassing to write a viewpoint of a match from the bottom of the heap but the teeth aren’t too clenched: Chris and I didn’t exactly enjoy buckets of luck, as will be seen. In fact, in the A team match it could be said that practically every guess or close decision went Staffs way. Where we were undoubtedly outplayed was in defence, where we often let contracts through that went down at the Oxon table.

West ª Q765 © A854 ¨ 52 § KJ4

East ª 103 © QJ1032 ¨ A6 § A983

Left to his own devices East will surely open 1© and decline a game try. Most people did this and most got § 10 (doubleton) lead from South, to make 10 tricks for +170 when the trump King was onside. Bennett/Noble conceded 420 and Kaz/Nicholson made the same. Without the club the only way home is to lead § K and run J, pinning the 10. David Bygott, pushed into game when N/S found their diamond fit (where they have 9 tricks) via a ghastly overcall, ruefully admits he wasn’t up to this.

North ª QJ102 © QJ65 ¨ KJ5 § Q6

South ª AK5 © A74 ¨ Q9743 § J3

Anyone for tennis? N/S have 26 points between them and not a game in sight. 3NT went 2 or 3 down at every table except where Prior/Smith wandered in, found their club fit and talked the opponents into a plus score in 3¨.

Tale of woe No.1. This is one of those hands you could play in 3NT or 4H and could make either or go down in either. In fact 4© was bid and made at 7 tables, 3NT at 1. That leaves two tables and two hard luck stories. Nick Smith played 3NT as West and got ¨ 4 lead from North! This went to the Queen and the suit was cleared for an obvious 1 down. I was in 4© and got the opening lead of © Q. This is awful when the suit has been bid and supported - A10X or K10X in dummy and you’ve just blown your natural trump trick. Here it was luckily safe and I had to take my top winners before playing on spades, to avoid the third round being ruffed. A fourth round cleared the suit but now I had to guess whether to play a diamond to the King or run the Jack. Of course, I knew I’d only been dealt all those intermediates in order to have a chance of guessing wrong, and I duly did, for 1 down. If I did something stupid, please tell me gently and in confidence, cos I’m feeling a little tender.

West ª Q © AKJ3 ¨ AJ75 § AQ74

East ª 62 © Q8 ¨ Q104 § K109865

As can be seen, 6§ is on the ¨ finesse, which happens to work, but a safe 5§ looks a good spot, given that N/S have got an awful lot of spades to jam you with, so you’ve no time to judge the hand properly. At my table, playing 4-card majors and lacking a system bid for strong 3-suiters, I opened 1© . LHO overcalled a weak 2ª (he had KJ10 to 7 of them, and out), partner passed, RHO raised to 3ª , I doubled , LHO pushed to 4ª and Chris bid 5§ , which made 620. Predictably, there was a mixed bag of results on this one. Strachan/Thomas were very unlucky to concede 1370 for 6§ made. They were scoring up with Prior/Smith who bid 2NT (Smith) - 6NT (Prior), against which North failed to lead his slightly attractive suit. Nick comments that this was a rather lucky 3 IMPs in. 3 IMPs?!!! I always thought the score for 6§ made at one table and 6NT minus 6 at the other was actually 18 IMPs. Only kidding, but seriously, it’s worth having system bids for strong 3-suiters if that’s the only way of avoiding adventures like this one.

West ª J72 © AJ6 ¨ K4 § A10876

East ª Q863 © K84 ¨ AQJ5 § J5

Tale of woe No. 2. South passes and you open 1NT, raised to 3NT via a Stayman enquiry. North leads ª 4 without perceptible pause for thought, you play low from dummy and beat South’s 10 with the Jack. The opening lead looks to be from AK9X or somewhat so you see a guaranteed route to 9 tricks by virtue of leading it straight back, intending to finesse the 6 or cover the 9. You realise you have fallen victim to a beautifully subtle falsecard by Jason Hackett when North shows out! South cashes his four winners on which you throw clubs from hand and a heart from dummy. North’s pitches are, in order, a low diamond, a low heart and two more diamonds. South exits a low club and you win perforce with the Ace, which also serves as a Vienna Coup. You run your diamonds throwing two more clubs from hand. South pitches a club and a heart and North the § Q and another heart.. You play © K, small from South and 10 from North. On a low heart towards you AJ, South plays small. So do you take the finesse you always had available or do you play to have squeezed North successfully and put up the Ace to drop his Queen? This is a situation where everyone at the table is guaranteed to know what’s going on (even dummy is bearing some resemblance to intelligent life-form) and North must defend as he has, keeping a low heart, if he is to dissuade you from the winning finesse. So reasoning that the squeeze requires North to hold three key cards to South’s none, I took the finesse - down 2 when North produced © Q and § K. I was outwardly the Incredible Bouncing Man (Sorry Partner, Next Board Please) but inwardly I was crawling into a dark cave (This Was My First Board of the Day, Only 31 to Go), where in the darkest corner came the thought that Jason had gone to bed with the entire spade suit at trick 1, leaving me to make the contract by any means I cared. 3NT was made at 5 tables (no doubt sometimes on an opening heart lead) and went off 5 times, all but one by Oxfordshire declarers. Nick Smith tells how he got a diamond lead and went to dummy with a heart to run § J, effectively banking everything on split honours. When this lost and another diamond came back he had to cash out the suit or abandon it before taking another losing club finesse, followed by a long diamond and ª AK. Jeremy Bygott won the first diamond in dummy to run § J, got a spade switch to the 9 and Jack and like me, returned the suit but with immediately fatal results. It’s difficult, but I suspect the best line is to win the diamond in hand at trick 1 and lead a low club towards the Jack, which loses only to honour doubleton over the Jack and may not be fatal in any case.

Several of us have noted that in the A and B matches, the East and West hands got switched. at some point. This makes a nonsense of analysis. Certainly there was a very mixed bag of results. E/W made 10 tricks in spades on four occasions, game having been bid twice, but went heavily down in game three times when the defence located their diamond void. N/S were allowed to play a making 3§ twice (I was one of the lucky ones) and one pair went to 5§ over 4ª (against the Lintotts) and were doubled for -300.

North ª J9 © AKJ654 ¨ J95 § AK

South ª 62 © Q1072 ¨ K73 § 10865

Most pairs tried 4© and found they couldn’t make it. Smith/Prior had an unopposed auction:

1© -2© -2ª (!)-3© -3NT(!) - you can see what sort of partnership this is going to be! - and made a magnificent +660 despite a spade lead!!! East held ª KQ1075 © 83 ¨ A102 § J93. How he failed to overcall 1ª is inexplicable until you realise what else this pair was capable of. First, West signalled an even number of spades on the opening lead, rather than overtaking and returning the suit for a quick +200. This encouraged East to switch to a club. When Nick had to lead a diamond towards dummy for his 9th trick, East won and played another club! Just as an aside, don’t we all play that the King of a suit against NT promises three honours (counting the 10) whilst the Ace promises only the King? Then you always know to overtake when it matters. The Bennet/Noble scorecard appears to read 2© by West, -4, -400. Memo, must ask what happened. On second thoughts, perhaps not.

North ª A © 86532 ¨ KQ983 § 109

South ª J1098 © AKJ ¨ A1074 § 82

Jeremy remarks that this was one of few good boards for Oxfordshire A. Both our pairs bid and made 4© while both their’s missed it. Chris and I bid 1NT-2¨ -2© -3¨ -4© . I like his 3¨ bid, which made it easy to jump to game on the strength of the double fit. I can see East getting in the way on some auctions, but not how this should make a major difference.

North ª Q54 © AK2 ¨ QJ986 § K6

South ª AKJ73 © Q7 ¨ 42 § AQJ2

We bid 1¨ -1ª -1NT-3§ -3ª (stronger than 4ª )-4NT-5¨ -6ª . I hoped partner had suitable cards (eg © K and ¨ AK or at worst © A and ¨ KQ). Fortunately West held © J10986 and ¨ K103 and led a heart so I had a claim for +1430. East wondered whether he should have doubled 5¨ but this is not at all clear. Note that a cue-bidding sequence gives the game away when nobody manages to cue the ¨ A. So why didn’t I cuebid? Dunno. Four declarers got away with slam, two in spades and two in NT, whilst another four went off, again two and two. Our unlucky declarers were the Claridges and Smith/Prior, and our bold opening leaders were the Duttons and Strachan/Thomas. The Bygotts and Bennett/Noble’s oppo knew enough to stay in game (the Bygotts had to contend with a filthy opening weak 2).

North ª 97 © KQJ108 ¨ A8 § K1097

South ª AKQ42 © 9 ¨ 943 § J842

Chris and I bid 1© -1ª -2§ -3§ -P for a safe plus but several pairs on each side got too excited. Some were lucky to avoid doubles - not so the Duttons oppo, who tried 3NT and got punished with 1100!

West ª AK10853 © 7432 ¨ 85 § 8

East ª 642 © A6 ¨ J9732 § AK5

Some pairs tried 4ª but no one made it. N/S have fitting cards, including a 5-4 club fit, but are missing too many tops. The Bygotts and Smith/Prior both phantomed in 5§ (the latter over 3ª only) to go down two, doubled. The Lintotts had the chance to redress one of these results but pushed on to 5ª - the dreaded Double Phantom - to lose 800.

The trick here is to avoid 3NT and 7§ , landing in the middle in 6§ . Apart from the Duttons opponents, who judged the E/W cards worth 3§ , everyone managed one or other of these contracts. Half the field played in 3NT, two pairs only managed 6§ (Smith/Prior and Bennet/Noble’s oppo) and two overbid to 7§ (Constable/Jalie’s oppo and, guess who?) Our effort, starting with me, East, was 1¨ -2§ -2¨ -2© -3§ -4NT-5ª (2 Aces plus trump Q) -7§ . Chris thought there were legitimate chances of an extra trick and bore in mind the state of the match (we were 80 odd down at the time). I don’t really approve of the punt on either score but, hey, he would have been a hero had it made. Fundamentally it needs hearts to divide 4-3. When they don’t you need to be able to ruff two of them low and then one high (in six, as Nick Smith points out, you must ruff low, high, low) but it was asking too much for South to hold precisely 4 and 3 of trumps. The instructive point of the hand is that Chris got ª K lead. That’s OK against six, when you hope to cash the Queen if you gain the lead, but against seven, if you gain the lead it’s already down. So it’s crazy not to lead a trump against this auction: it would have beaten the slam here, regardless of the pips.

Board 20 was a 4ª for N/S defeated by trump leads - or not as the case may be.

Board 22 was a very thin 4© (or 5§ ) for N/S. Well done to Bennet/Noble and the Duttons, who bid game, and bad luck to Smith/Prior who had it bid against them.

Tale of woe No. 3. This was a partscore deal at every table bar one. Against us, playing strong club, North opened 1¨ third in hand and South responded 2§ , alerted as something or other I now forget. North rebid 3¨ and South ended proceedings with 3NT. Chris led a club to King and Ace and I wasted no time in returning a spade but declarer had the 10 so that was that. 10 tricks for 630. I suppose the jump rebid is OK in strong club, where you’ve already denied the ability to open 1§ .

It was nearly more than a partscore at another table in the A team. Hackett opened a 15-17 NT with the North cards which persuaded David Bygott to intervene with an Astro 2¨ (spades and another). Cornelius passed to await developments but when Jeremy’s 2ª rode round to him he ventured 3NT. Jeremy doubled for a spade lead, which as you can see would have resulted in -750, but this smoked out Mr. Hackett who retreated to 4¨ for a flat board.

If West opens a weak 2© and North overcalls 2ª , both sides are in danger of getting overheated. E/W won’t go higher than 3© , surely, if pushed. However, several pairs got too high in spades. The Bygotts defended 4ª but failed to double and got it 2 off only (declarer must have had his guessing boots on). The Duttons were lucky to escape with -150 in the same contract. Not so the Lintotts, who were doubled and lost 800!

You hold ª Q10875 © 107 ¨ AQJ7 § Q7 and the bidding goes 1© on your right, 1ª from you, 1NT on your left, pass from partner, 4© on your right, which ends the auction. Your lead? Chris tried a spade and dummy went down with ª A2 © Q8 ¨ 8643 § J8632. Declarer won with the Ace (partner contributing the Jack) and led a diamond to King and Ace. This was the second and last chance to lead a trump and it was probably an error not to do so. Partner’s failure to support spades, coupled with his card at trick 1 and given the doubleton in dummy, means that declarer almost certainly has losing spades to dispose of. 4© made three times, once by the Duttons (who were enjoying a golden afternoon) and twice by Staffs (against Chris and me and Smith/Prior).

Tale of woe No.4. Chris opened 1ª and I viewed to pass after East did likewise. Fortunately West was there with a double, as was Chris with 3ª which I raised to 4ª . The effect of this auction was to induce a double from East, who led ¨ A before switching to a trump. Chris won in hand to cash § A and ruff a club. He then played a small heart from dummy and although West wasn’t up to putting in the Queen he had already been up to following to clubs with the Queen and 9 in order. So East won and underled his club King to partner’s 10 for a diamond ruff and one down. Comments? Well, firstly I would have regarded the North hand as an Acol 2 and bid accordingly. It’s got 6 and a half trump tricks and 1 and a half tricks outside, and there are many hands on which partner will pass 1ª when game is cold or at least a good bet. However, having criticised my partner a little here and there, which goes against the grain, I have to say that there are few more resourceful declarers around and no blame attaches for failing to find the double-dummy line here, which is to win in hand at trick 2 and lead © J. If East wins this your troubles are over, as you can see, but he will certainly duck and now you have to guess to rise with the King, after which you can take your club ruff, the difference being that you now have a heart ruff back to hand to draw trumps and enjoy your ¨ K. The E/W defence was possibly not found universally. The contract made 6 times. Kaz and Sandra went down and the Oxon defenders who took it off - by what means I don’t know - were Bennett/Noble and the Lintotts.

North ª Q © QJ7 ¨ AKJ87653 § Q

South ª AJ109 © K1086 ¨ 2 § 7653

I include this hand really as a curiosity only, because anything could and did happen, given that East held an enticing collection including King to 6 spades and AK to 5 clubs. At my table Chris opened 1¨ , East overcalled a quiet 1ª and I doubled to show my hearts. West passed, Chris rebid 3¨ and I bid 3NT, which ended the auction. A spade was led on which East erred by covering the Queen. However, the (inevitable) disappointment came swiftly when on a diamond to the Ace, East showed out. I took the other top diamond, got away with a heart to the 10 and then decided to cash out for two down. This result, or down 3, was fairly common. It was interesting, however, how widely varied was the treatment of the North hand. Nick Smith thought it an Acol 2, whilst Jeremy Bygott opened 1¨ , heard 2NT (for the blacks) on his left, double from partner, 3§ on his right, and bid a quiet 3¨ for +130. To further escape any accusation of disloyalty, I think my partner’s valuation was spot on.

South ª none © K1052 ¨ KQ65432 § 106

North ª K10972 © AJ9 ¨ AJ § 842

East passed and so did I, not wishing to pre-empt us out of a possible heart fit. West opened 1§ , Chris overcalled 1ª , East bid 1NT and I competed with 2¨ , prepared to go to 3¨ if I heard the spades rebid. But there I played, for +150 after guessing the hearts correctly. This was a normal result. Life on planet Smith/Prior proved much more rewarding, however. In the notes he provided, Nick described this an "an awkward hand to bid". South opened 1¨ (!), West overcalled 2§ , North bid 2ª and the N/S auction continued 3¨ - 3© -4© .

West cashed two top clubs before switching to his singleton diamond but Nick could win in dummy and run © 9 to West’s Queen. There was no way for West to reach partner for a ruff. Dummy (the long trump hand, remember) was forced instead but with trumps 3-3, that was the end of the defence. No one else managed to get to game on this one.

That’s it, folks. There hasn’t been time to proofread this so I apologise for any errors. Also, it’s difficult to read through the tears.

Many thanks to the regular stalwarts who have contributed comments on their efforts, thus laying themselves open to the same ridicule as me. This is one of the many bonuses that comes with being captain, so I mustn’t complain.